Mags and Shags
by BeaumontRulz
Summary: “Oh bite me,” she said, poking her tongue out at him. “Okay,” he said cheekily, leaning forward and attaching his lips and teeth to her neck. Terribly silly oneshot... HHr! Please R


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

**A/N: Yeah, they're in 7th year and they're Head Boy and Girl… hence they're in the Heads' common room ;-) Please read and review! Thanks are due to Sapphire Water Elf Princess for unblocking my brain and to StarAngel613 for her wonderful beta-ing job! And thanks to pumpkinpie4ever for the title! Thank you sweeties!**

* * *

**Mags and Shags**

"Nuh uh Hermione, apple pie is the best!"

"Ice cream and custard beats your apple pie!"

"Ah but apple pie can be eaten _with_ ice cream and custard!"

"Yeah but apple pie… is silly." Hermione pouted, knowing she was defeated.

"Ha! I beat you!" he exclaimed triumphantly and grinning happily at her.

"Oh bite me," she said, poking her tongue out at him.

"Okay," he said cheekily, leaning forward and attaching his lips and teeth to her neck.

She squeaked softly and slapped his back, "Harry don't… ohh." Her protests quickly turned into a small moan as a burning feeling of pleasure spread from his teeth down her spine and her arms, to her fingertips and toes. He gnawed down on her skin and sucked her in, laughing in the back of his throat as he heard her gasp suddenly.

He moved back from her and she slapped him very hard on the arm. "Ouch! What was that for!"

"I didn't mean it literally," she pouted, glaring at him.

He smirked, "Sorry."

"And now I'll have a hickey," she grumbled, touching a finger to her neck – it was still wet where he'd sucked her skin in. She didn't wipe it off, and moved her hand back to gaze down at her fingers.

"If you want, next time I'll bite you in a less conspicuous place," he said playfully, standing up off the couch. "I'll be back in a minute."

"Alright," she said, watching him leave. As he disappeared up the stairs to his dorm she touched her finger back to her neck. This time as she drew her hand back, she moved it up to her mouth and sucked on her finger thoughtfully.

As Harry bounced back down the stairs she pulled her finger out of her mouth and wiped it on her robes.

"Okay," he said, sitting down next to her, holding a copy of _Witch Weekly_. "We're going to play a game."

"What kind of game?" she asked suspiciously, cocking one eyebrow.

"'Who's hot and who's not?'" he said, winking at her.

She snorted, "How on earth did you come up with that game?"

"Before the boys in my old dorm left for Christmas we randomly opened up magazines and decided who was hot and who wasn't."

Hermione laughed, "Harry, that's what girls do."

"Not with the kind of magazines we had," he said, winking at her.

She gasped and grinned as she slapped his arm again, "Harry!"

"They weren't mine!" he said quickly. "Seamus and Dean brought them out!"

"Oh I'm sure," she said, laughing and slapping him once more.

"Hey, my imagination is much better than any photo in a magazine anyway. Those girls aren't posing for you – hey, shut up!" he exclaimed, poking her as she began to giggle hysterically.

"Oh _God_ Harry," she said, leaning back in the couch and wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes. "I _don't_ need to know how you _pleasure_ yourself."

"Oh but you do!" he said, smirking at her. "The female best friend must always be up-to-date with what her male best friend 'pleasures' himself over."

"What, so I can parade around dressed as your fantasies?" she asked, laughing again.

"If you really want to," he retorted, smirking and winking at her again.

She smiled and shook her head, "Do you want to play or not?"

He smiled back and nodded. "Okay, I'm going to open it randomly and point at someone, okay?"

She nodded.

"Alright," he said, opening the magazine. "Jessica Wilson," he said, pointing at an image of a tall blonde woman who seemed to enjoy batting her eyelids and pouting too much.

"She's… okay," Hermione said uncertainly.

"Come on Hermione, hot or not?"

"I don't call women 'hot'," she said, raising one eyebrow. "And she's not terribly attractive. She has nice eyes but her nose and lips look disproportioned."

"Okay, so not," Harry said decisively. "I agree. Your turn."

Hermione took the magazine and flicked through to the centre page. She laughed and showed him the photo.

"Oh yes, that's a ten out of ten hot," Harry said immediately, smirking.

She snorted, "Which one? You or me?"

"Oh, both of us. We do look rather good together," he said, still smirking at her.

Hermione laughed and said, "Yes, with your _beautiful_ scar and _attractive_ glasses and my uncontrollable _bushy_ hair and brains, we'd be the most attractive couple since… well since forever."

Harry grinned and winked at her, "No, with your beautiful eyes and nose and gorgeous hips and my terribly attractive body and gorgeous smile we'd be the most attractive couple since Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard."

"First of all, my God you remembered who was in _Breakfast at Tiffany's_!" she said, grinning at him. "We only watched it once. But, second of all, my hips?" she asked, now raising both eyebrows at him.

"You kept on going on and on about how he was so gorgeous and you still mention it every now and then," Harry said, poking his tongue out at her. "And yes, your hips."

"_Why_ my hips?"

"They're perfectly symmetrical," Harry said thoughtfully, glancing down at her lap. "Stand up in front of me."

She stood up uncertainly and he moved forward to place his hands on the top of her hips.

"They're also clearly defined but not so defined that you look like Betty Boop," he said, grinning up at her. He moved his hands a little lower to the sides of the tops of her thighs, "And they connect with your legs perfectly."

Hermione smiled and moved her hands down to his hands. "Well thank you Harry."

"I'm only stating the truth," he said cheekily.

She laughed and looked down at his hands. They were still resting on her hips, his thumbs softly rubbing her hipbones. She bit her lip and looked back at his face. He was still gazing at her hips and moved his hands up to tug down at her skirt slightly. She shivered slightly as he ran his fingers across her bare skin, underneath her untucked shirt. He raised the shirt with one hand and looked at her stomach thoughtfully.

"You have a nice stomach too," he said in a matter-of-factly voice.

She smiled and allowed him to undo the bottom four buttons on her shirt. She couldn't help but giggle softly as he poked her belly button and ran his fingers lightly across the base of her stomach.

"Harry, stop it," she said softly, pushing at his hands slightly. "It tickles," she added, seeing him look slightly embarrassed.

"All the more reason to do it my dear," he said, embarrassment quickly disappearing and smiling as his moved his hands around to grip at the tops of her hips again. "You really are beautiful Hermione," he added, raising his eyes to meet hers.

She smiled and pulled him into a standing position. "May I…?" she asked, moving her hands to his waist and the bottom of his shirt.

He nodded.

She untucked his shirt and began to undo it from the bottom. She grew rather hesitant after the fifth button – she wasn't sure if she was allowed to undo the rest of the buttons. But after glancing up at his face to see him watching her with a small smirk on his face, she smirked and undid the rest of his buttons. She grinned in appreciation as she pushed the shirt from his shoulders, to the floor.

She moved back from him slightly to look at him. He wasn't that skinny little boy she knew in first year anymore. No, Harry had filled out, and it was probably thanks to Quidditch and that he had such a well-defined abdomen, and a gorgeous broad chest. She reached out hesitantly and touched the skin on both sides of his belly button. He flinched slightly at her cool hands and at this she immediately withdrew them.

"No," he said softly, catching her hands and pulling them back to his body.

She smiled and moved them lower to the waistline of his pants and moved them down over his hips. "You have nice hips too," she said softly, her throat suddenly feeling as though it was constricted. She brushed her fingers across the base of his stomach, her fingers tingling as she touched the thin trail of hair leading down past his pants.

Hermione moved back from him and her fingers found their way to her half-undone shirt. Harry watched her slowly undo the remaining buttons before sliding it off her shoulders. His eyes trailed down from the small mark he'd made on her neck, to her chest and breasts, down to her stomach.

"Beautiful," he said softly.

She smiled shyly and raised a hand to the hickey on her neck suddenly looking as though she had a fantastic idea. "Say 'Bite me'."

He smirked, "By all means… bite me."

Hermione moved closer to him and placed her hands on his chest, pushing him down into a sitting position on the couch. As she straddled his lap he placed his hands on her hips, rubbing his thumbs across her. He caught a look of her smirk as she lowered her head to his neck and attached her lips and teeth to him.

At first she was just kissing him, but she soon opened her lips so her teeth could attack him, and he felt his stomach jump wildly as she nibbled and sucked at his neck. He groaned softly as she bit him slightly harder than she'd meant to – almost automatically, her tongue was rubbing across the throbbing area, soothing the pain quickly.

When she finally moved back from his neck he touched the spot on his neck softly before moving his hand back to look at his fingers thoughtfully, as she'd done. He looked back up at her face to find she was watching him interestedly.

"Why don't we have shirts on?" she asked suddenly.

"I wanted to look at your hips and you wanted… to remove my shirt," he said, shrugging slightly. He smirked, "I have no objections."

"I _know_ you don't," she said cheekily, poking his bare stomach softly. "You don't have any to me sitting across you like this too I suspect," she added, smirking at him.

Harry smiled, "I would _never_ object to having such a wonderful woman sitting on my lap, half-naked."

She smiled back at him and looked down at her hands.

"I would never object to having _you_ sitting on my lap, half-naked," he added softly, moving his hands forward to touch hers.

Hermione smiled again, "I suppose we should put our clothing back on."

"Oh no," Harry said, his eyes twinkling happily as he grinned at her. "No, 'Mione, remember I still have to bite you in a less conspicuous place."

"And where would this 'less conspicuous place' be?" she asked playfully, raising one eyebrow.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough," he said cheekily, leaning forward to kiss her on the mouth.

When the kiss ended he smirked at her, "Would you like to wander around dressed as my fantasies now?"

"Maybe later," she replied, smirking back. "For now, I would like to find out where you plan to bite me."

Harry grinned, "Naughty Hermione."

---

**The End**

**A/N: Another silly one… lol. I blame this on my friends again… Caz specifically this time. Thank you for being such a terrible muse sweetie ;-)**

**Anyway, please review!**

**Alex**


End file.
